I Wanted To Run

It really would have been easier to run.

And I really wanted to.

I’ve felt the tender parts within me want to run.

Run from entrepreneurial challenges.

Run from adulting challenges.

Run from everything that felt hard… which at times felt like everything.

Running felt like the only answer.

The rose-coloured glasses have fallen and I felt like I’d been left in a puddle of confusion.

But confusion is actually a result of spiritual growth.

I went back to Layla’s teachings and was reminded that in western society, certainty is so prized, and we often don't make space for true spiritual development which is confusing.

I have a handful of sub-personalities that I’ve been integrating and nurturing over the past few years on my spiritual path. So I thought which version of me is capable of leading me out of this muck. It would have been easier to surrender to Gertrude, my cranky old woman personality who wants to scream NO at everyone. Or to my victim-ey side who gets off on being “wronged”. Or to my inner critic who was having a hay day.

But instead I chose an empowered piece of me. And how does she react?

⚡Empowered Sara is showing up holding space for that part of me that wants to run.
⚡Empowered Sara is showing up in connection to my discomfort.
⚡Empowered Sara is showing up in service of my highest self.
⚡Empowered Sara is showing up with deep compassion for myself.

Great adult-ing is recognizing the disempowered parts of us that want to run or shrink or hide asking ourselves:

⚡Who do I want to empower instead?
⚡What do I want and who do I need to empower within me to do this?
⚡What do I need and how am I going to get it?

I’m curious, can you relate? What part of you pops up and tries to run the show when things are hard, and who within you do you want to empower instead?

XO,

Sara