November 29, 2018 was the start of a potent journey. Not only because I met an unbelievable partner that day but that same weekend I showed up to The School of Womanly Arts experience workshop. I had heard rumblings of Regena Thomashauer (aka Mama Gena). It was an all day event Saturday and Sunday (a teaser to a longer program). I resisted the entire thing. I purposefully arrived late and sat in the back row of the Javitz Center among a couple thousand women - hoping to not speak with anyone. I certainly was not “falling” for the longer program sales pitch. The female event staff who checked me into the event were so turned on by life and embodied… I met their pleasure with complete and utter skepticism. And then something interesting happened, a 60-something year old woman got really fucking real. Realer than anyone I’d ever witnessed before. When the lunch break came around, my resistance fired up again. An opportunity to sneak out without anyone noticing - excellent. Then I heard the women around me chatting about lunch… part of me hoped they wouldn’t invite me so I could carry out my evacuation route... but to my partial delight I was asked to join. By the end of the weekend I had a red rose in my hand, a token in exchange for signing up for Mastery: The School of Womanly Arts. I had no idea what I’d done or why but knew I’d seen a stroke of my divinity that weekend and I wanted more. At the end of the workshop, I took my rose and was off to date #2 with Alejo.
I’ve traveled to 9 counties this year, most in the arms of an incredible man. I’ve grown personally and in relationship. I’ve granted myself space to reflect, day dream and indulge. And I’ve tripped over myself often, experiencing extraordinary growing pains this year.
In Mastery, I was witnessed in my darkness - my rage, my grief, my fear. I saw glimpses of my power, which was terrifying at times. I learned just what an honor it is to be a woman. Doors began to open in my life, lots of them. My desires came hurdling toward me at rapid speeds. This may sound like I’m bragging. That’s because I am. Another tool from Regena: The Brag. A purposefully provocative form of celebration intended to flip the paradigm of how we relate to one another, especially as women. If we aren’t bragging or celebrating, then what are we doing - bonding over a round of complaints and martinis? Talking about others? No thanks. I’m not implying we should withhold rage, grief, pain, there’s room for that, I’m saying small talk needs to be upleveled.
As if 4 months of Mastery in the Spring wasn’t enough, the year got even wilder. I decided to go to Mexico with Regena and 200 epic sisters in the Fall for a retreat. Somewhere in the midst of it all, while I was drowning in life’s pleasures and getting right with my desires, I signed up for Layla Martin’s coaching certification, a year long course on love rooted in Tantric philosophy beginning in 2020. Things are changing around here… and fast. I don’t know where this program will take me but I do know I’ve been a student of many works for many years and while I will always be a student, this program is a portal to sharing what I know. It’s been a year since the back row of the Javitz and I find myself back in a familiar resistance soup. Contractions are painful, but are ultimately what births us all, right? Here’s to another year of unknown expansion.