A Recovering “Good Girl”


Recently someone asked me what my dreams are for the rest of the year and my immediate unfiltered thought was “ugh the eff if I know, I’m just trying to make it through the day”.

Now this was on a day where I hadn’t done my morning routine to put the Grouchy Gertrude thoughts away.

I immediately felt grief because I used to regularly make lists upon lists of goals, dreams and desires. This season, I’ve felt the least connected to my desires than I have in a while.

My attention has been on:

How do I get out of bed successfully today?
What are my basic needs and how do I get them met today?
How do I recover from bouts of anxiety and sad-girl thoughts more swiftly?
How do I be a good CEO and a good coach while my mental health feels delicate?

I’m not particularly proud to say this. But it’s important to me I keep it real as real gets and this is where we’ve been at.

And so, yes, that dreamy, spaciousness and big- visioning mindset has felt far. Unattainable.

As someone who teaches manifestation, desire practices and s*x magic and knows these tools inside and out, it would have been easy to feel like an imposter during the past few months but I try not to make myself wrong for this wobbly season.

We get to be human in our experiences. And honestly I believe the universe teaches lessons so that we can relate deeper to others. As a recovering “good girl” always with a smile plastered on my face, this past season of my life might be my most relatable yet.

Xo,
Sara ♥️

Sara Chizek