It was June 2019. I knew I was hungry, but I didn’t know for what. Do you ever feel that way? like an insatiable burn for something other than the norm yet complete lack of clarity of what that is. It’s overwhelming. I’d spent my whole life creating this solid foundation based on what I thought I “should” do. In reality, I’d abandoned my soul. Through little fault of my own, might I add. Our system likes it when we abandon ourselves… it profits, it strengthens, etc.
I snapped this photo after graduating from Mama Gena’s program for me to remember this moment, never expecting to share it. The reason I’m crying is complete and utter fear. I had just made some promises to myself that I knew I couldn’t walk back from. I had decided I’d be quitting my job and pursuing something that really lit me up. The problem was, I had absolutely no clue what that was. The reason I’m smiling is because I had just come home to my soul and surrendered.
“If I am living bravely, my entire life will become a million deaths and rebirths. My goal is not to remain the same but to live in such a way that each day, year, moment, relationship, conversation and crisis is the material I use to become a truer, more beautiful version of myself. The goal is to surrender, constantly, who I just was in order to become who this next moment calls me to be. I will not hold on to a single existing idea, identity, story or relationship that keeps me from emerging new. I cannot hold too tightly to any riverbank. I must let go of the shore in order to travel deeper and see farther. Again and again and then again. Until the final death and rebirth. Right up until then.” - Untamed, Glennon Doyle
I’m not done dying a thousand little deaths so that I can be birthed anew. Infact, I’ve centered my purpose around showing others how to relate to the shedding process in an empowering way.