I’ve spent the last few months deep diving into the pain of unmet needs. As humans we all grew up with unmet needs to varying degrees - even if we had superstar parents there were moments where we were left crying and our parents didn't get to us fast enough. As an adult when our needs aren't met, we can often source them from somewhere else but as a child there's no where else to go and it's often we feel we'd die if we dont get our needs met, it can feel insatiable and really intense.
As we grow into adulthood, it's common for us to go around looking for someone to fulfill our unmet needs and it's this cosmic joke because no adult can give us true unconditional love, they can come close, but they can't meet the needs our parent were meant to. It's also common to get fixated on wanting our needs to be met by people we're attracted to. The way out of this cycle is to recognize that no one on the outside can meet our needs unconditionally. There are two sources of unconditional love:
1) Ourselves. We ourselves can decide that if we need love, safety, etc. that we’re going to source it from within. You can create incredible compassion for yourself by repeating to yourself "I will hold you. I will listen to you. I will keep you safe.” And working with a support system to help cultivate this message deep in the body and nervous system.
2) Universal or spiritual connection to the divine. By cultivating recognition that you've always been loved by the universe because you are here.
Usually there is inner child resistance to both of these things because we REALLY want the love to come from our caretaker or the creator of our wounds, our partner, etc. We tend to want to heal thru these people but they’re the same people that caused the initial wound.
I have some gorgeous tools to connect you to the pieces of the unmet soul and cultivate empowering ways of relating to yourself. Let’s connect!