“Grief is a lifelong journey... if you never grieve, you never have to do the work.”
As we all know, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. When my dad died when I was 4 years old, it was as close to catastrophic as anything I’d experienced. It wasn’t until my late 20’s that I faced the tragedy head on and let the grief valves open up. Before that I was afraid to rupture the solid foundation of avoidance and numbness I had built for myself. I was afraid what was on the other side of unfurling. I was afraid my grief was going to consume my world if I let the cat out of the bag. I know I’m not alone in this… whether it’s grieving the loss of a loved one, a job, a move, a relationship.
I came to learn that every great story starts with a rupture. That the degree which we can own and integrate our darkness and our pain, is the degree in which we can own our light, our magic, our life force energy. That even though my dad’s physical body has passed on, I could have a relationship with his soul on my own terms.
It’s easy to bypass our emotions, to find a million and one distractions so we don’t have to address the thing that causes us the most pain… but little do we know that same thing is the ticket to our freedom from the pain.
I scheduled time on my calendar to grieve. Just like I’d slot for a doctors appointment or a haircut. It was refreshing to give myself the space and permission to feel the giant gaping hole in my heart. Space to cry, scream, bang on pillows, fall into a ball on the floor, often resembling a child’s temper tantrum (bonus points!). I let my body move whichever way it wanted.
In an interview with @jennashellman7 I share my raw, imperfect self and my story of grief. I hope it inspires you to release what may be holding you back. If you want to talk, I want to hear from you!
Thankful to my teachers @mamagena @acaringhand @mamamedicine @victoriaalbinawellness @thelaylamartin for carrying me on this journey, to my friends and family, especially my brave brave mama.