Feeling The Space Between Where I Am And Where I Want To Go
HI, MIND NICE TO SEE YOU, THANKS FOR MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING HELL AGAIN.
The dark night of the soul comes in right before the transformation.
But sitting in the darkness and muck right before it is THE WORSE.
We think:
What if this never changes? What if you fail? How could we be here AGAIN?
It’s so damn uncomfortable.
It’s that familiar “I just wanna burn it all down” energy.
It’s making yourself wrong for all your feels and being your own worst enemy.
It’s just plain prickly.
When you’re in it, it’s SO hard to zoom out and see that you’re on the precipice of transformation.
Liiiike SO hard.
In my experience, I’ve needed someone to remind me that:
This isn’t permanent. We all have big things that come back again and again. It’s okay that it comes back. Grief. Fear of Failure. Anger. These aren’t little things that magically just disappear. That you get to be valid in all your feelings. You’re growing and growing pains really suck sometimes.
AND in my experience, it's’ really helpful to have someone in my court asking me who I want to be in all of this? How do I want to show up for myself right now? What guidance does the empowered version of me have?
And it’s really helpful to have someone there to help me get back INTO my body. Where I can’t past or future catastrophize.
To help me feel the space between where I am and where I want to go and to just feel that space and to know that thats okay. That I can be safe where I am right this moment.
To remind me, I can’t fast forward a process but can FEEL when a process is in motion.
It’s times like these that I’m grateful for my toolbox of hundreds of tools practice and lessons.